Best Foot Forward.

The whole story, in order

Start at the top and read straight through.

Night photo from my first 24-hour run: bib 321, white long sleeves, red flowered skirt, mid-stride on the track.
Pre-op · 19d to surgeryPre-op

T-minus 19: why I'm documenting my second foot reconstruction

Nineteen days until surgery. I'm handling it the way I handle most things: prepping like the end of the world is coming, while ignoring the very real downside.…

FWB pre-op · countdown · running-identity
The Union Chain Bridge: a chain-link suspension bridge with a stone tower, spanning the River Tweed between England and Scotland.
Pre-op · 18d to surgeryPre-op

London Bridge has fallen down

Eighteen days out, and I figure it's time to explain what's actually going to happen on June 30. Not "foot surgery." The real thing, all five jobs, one…

FWB pre-op · surgical-plan · anatomy
Two neat rows of athletic shoes lined up on a white closet shelf: white sneakers, a pair with red accents, tan suede trainers, and white slip-ons, with dark clothing hanging on either side.
Pre-op · 17d to surgeryPre-op

Walking Papers

The warm weather showed up this week, and once again, I'm not lacing up for a long run to meet it. So I'm pointing all that restless energy somewhere my foot…

FWB pre-op · organization · footwear
The 'Confession Bear' meme: a glum-looking sun bear resting its chin and paws on a log, with white caption text reading 'I could use a massage' across the top and 'It's great to feel kneaded' across the bottom.
Pre-op · 16d to surgeryPre-op

Knots Landing

The closet purge wasn't the only thing on this week's list. Today I did something for the rest of me: 90 minutes, full body, face-down on a table while someone…

FWB pre-op · self-care · bodywork
A lateral X-ray of a foot on a lightbox, the heel and midfoot bones held together by two large, bright-white surgical screws; overhead light and a hand are reflected in the glass.
Pre-op · 15d to surgeryPre-op

Some Assembly Required

Fifteen days out, and the menu just grew. I laid out the five-job rebuild earlier this week and figured the order was locked. It wasn't. Dr. Stein added…

FWB pre-op · surgical-plan · bunionectomy
Dr. Ben Stein: a smiling man with short dark hair and a trimmed dark beard, wearing a white physician's coat over a checked dress shirt and a dark red patterned tie, photographed in a softly blurred hospital corridor.
Pre-op · 13d to surgeryPre-op

Doctor's Orders

Thirteen days out, and it feels right to introduce the person who actually rebuilds the foot. Meet Dr. Ben Stein, the orthopedic surgeon who has now agreed to…

FWB pre-op · surgeon · protocol
Gollum from The Lord of the Rings, gaunt and gray-skinned, crouched on mossy rock in a dark cave, cradling and gazing longingly at a bottle of Advil the way he covets the One Ring.
Pre-op · 12d to surgeryPre-op

My Precious

Every runner has a Precious. This is mine. I've been leaning on Advil like a crutch since the ankle went. But if I'm being honest, I was leaning on it loooong…

FWB pre-op · medications · nsaids
A John Travolta meme from Saturday Night Fever: Travolta in his iconic one-arm-up disco pose on a lit dance floor, with overlaid text reading 'I GOT DAT NIGHT FEVER WHEN I WATCH THIS MOVIE.'
Pre-op · 10d to surgeryPre-op

Stayin' Alive

Recovery isn't only about the foot. It's about not losing my mind while the foot heals. So today is about motivation, the stuff that's going to keep my spirits…

FWB pre-op · recovery-mindset · fitness
Bright purple-white electrical arcs branching upward from a dark horizontal surface against a black background, like a plasma discharge or St. Elmo's fire.
Pre-op · 9d to surgeryPre-op

Man in Motion

I had 80s throwback tunes going today, and one of my all-time favorite running songs came on: "St. Elmo's Fire (Man in Motion)") by John Parr. I always loved…

FWB pre-op · gear · mobility
A narrow road winding down through dark, reddish volcanic hills into a vast open desert valley, with a long mountain range rising in the hazy distance; a remote Panamint Valley descent at low light.
Pre-op · 7d to surgeryPre-op

Dream Weaver

The other night I had a dream that I was running on a cart path. And I was running fast. Nothing hurt. I remember thinking, clear as day, "why on earth am I…

FWB pre-op · dreams · pain-science
The Zoolander 'so hot right now' meme. Will Ferrell as fashion designer Mugatu, wild blond hair and a shiny red outfit, clutching a tiny white poodle in a crowded fashion-show audience, captioned 'COLLAGEN' across the top and 'SO HOT RIGHT NOW' across the bottom.
Pre-op · 6d to surgeryPre-op

Stuck on You

Let's talk supplements. Specifically, let's talk collagen: the holy grail of soft-tissue support, and the one tub I'd grab first if the house were on fire.…

FWB pre-op · supplements · collagen
A white coffee mug with a black handle and black interior. The text reads 'I START WORKING WHEN MY' above an OxyContin 80mg pharmaceutical label graphic, then 'STARTS WORKING' below.
Pre-op · 5d to surgeryPre-op

Comfortably Numb

Let's talk about pain. Specifically, let's talk about the plan to outsmart it, because last time pain and I had a very bad weekend together. Rewind to the left…

FWB pre-op · medications · pain-science
A boxing meme. A boxer in a blue helmet takes a hard right glove square to the face. The incoming red glove is labeled 'hamstring day,' and the boxer getting hit is labeled 'me, feeling good about myself.'
Pre-op · 4d to surgeryPre-op

We'll Meet Again

Today was my last day at \[solidcore\] for the next three months. Not because I can't work out, to be clear. I could. I've done it before, plenty of times.…

FWB pre-op · exercise · solidcore
Comic-book Wolverine in his yellow-and-blue suit charging forward mid-stride, both sets of metal claws extended and teeth bared.
Pre-op · 3d to surgeryPre-op

Stronger

Fair warning: this one's going to be controversial. Today is reconstitution day for my recovery peptides, and for anyone who isn't up to speed on grey-market…

FWB pre-op · peptides · bpc-157
A close-up of a small tan Chihuahua with huge glossy eyes and a tense, nervous little smile, staring straight at the camera against a stormy grey sky.
Pre-op · 2d to surgeryPre-op

Under Pressure

OH GOD, the anxiety hit this morning. Out of nowhere. And I don't even know why, because this is my eighth foot surgery. I've had half of this exact procedure…

FWB pre-op · anxiety · mental-health
A meme of a small fluffy dog tucked into a white bed, head on a pillow and paws resting over the blanket, captioned 'WHEN YOU'RE COZY IN BED AFTER A WARM SHOWER LISTENING TO THE RAINSTORM OUTSIDE.'
Pre-op · 1d to surgeryPre-op

The Waiting

I know. I KNOW. I am obsessing over this. But really, I swear I'm not. This is the process I've honed over many prior surgeries, and it earns its keep every…

FWB pre-op · recovery-setup · the-lair
Selfie of a smiling woman with long blond hair, wearing a heather-gray t-shirt printed with bold black block letters reading 'EVERYTHING HURTS.'
Surgery daySurgery

The Final Countdown

3... 2... 1... it's go-time. And it feels exactly like my very first Badwater race day in 2015, and the ones I was lucky enough to run in 2016 and 2019. All of…

FWB surgery · badwater · mindset
A lolcat meme: a small grey-and-white kitten sits with its right front leg wrapped in a white bandage. White text reads 'My plan to dominate the world has been put on hold for *now*.'
Day 1Early Recovery

I Wanna Be Sedated

Post-op update time. First, the bad news: I did not get the continuous no-no-nerve juice machine I'd campaigned so hard for. Boooo. Instead they sent me home…

Pain 4/10 NWB early-recovery · post-op · medications
The Most Interesting Man in the World meme: a distinguished bearded man in a suit sits at a table. Top text reads 'I don't always roll a joint,' bottom text reads 'but when I do, it's my ankle.'
Day 2Early Recovery

Feeling Good

Just a quick check-in. I'm closing in on 48 hours post-op and I have virtually no pain. I honestly can't tell whether I'm happy or really nervous, wondering if…

Pain 3/10 NWB early-recovery · post-op · peptides
A Finding Nemo meme: Dory, the wide-eyed blue tang fish, grins against a blue underwater background. Bold white text reads 'SLEEP. SLEEP.' across the top and 'MUST GET SLEEP.' across the bottom.
Day 3Early Recovery

Mr. Sandman

Check-in time: we're right about at the 72-hour mark, and honestly? What a chill three days it's been. Mostly. For starters, the extended-release OxyContin has…

Pain 3/10 NWB early-recovery · post-op · medications
A red, white, and blue flyer for the Palisades 60th Anniversary 4th of July Parade, with fireworks, an American flag, and silhouettes of families holding hands and waving flags. Text reads 'Celebrating America. Honoring Our Community. 250 Years.'
Day 4Early Recovery

Saturday in the Park

It's the Fourth of July, which in my corner of DC means one thing: the Palisades parade, my favorite DC event of the year. For one glorious hour, anyone who…

Pain 3/10 NWB early-recovery · post-op · mental-health
A meme with white text on a black background reading: Doctor: 'Are you feeling any pain?' Me: 'Only the normal amount.' Doctor: 'The normal amount is zero.' Me: — followed by a wide-eyed penguin from Madagascar staring in baffled silence.
Day 5Early Recovery

Easy

Day 5. Time for a check-in. But first, a reminder of why this journal exists at all. Yes, it's an outlet for me to process everything I'm going through. But…

Pain 2/10 NWB early-recovery · post-op · pain-management
A meme of Ken Jeong in a classroom, squinting hard at a tiny scrap of paper held up to his face, with white text reading: 'Me trying to find my patience.'
Day 6Early Recovery

Patience

Day 6, and I've entered the in-between. The acute pain is gone. Not "managed," not "tolerable": gone. What's left is soreness, plus the occasional sharp little…

Pain 1/10 NWB early-recovery · mindset · patience
A meme of a French bulldog lying completely flat on its side on a teal wooden deck, eyes closed, with white text reading: 'TIRED. JUST TIRED.'
Day 7Early Recovery

I'm So Tired

Today's entry is going to be short, because I'm about to pass out. I am TIRED. Tired. Day 7 was my return to work, and I came back to a wall of meetings and…

Pain 3/10 NWB early-recovery · return-to-work · sleep
Miksa, a rust-colored Vizsla in a donut-print bandana, stands on the wood floor giving the camera a puzzled look next to my bandaged leg propped up on a wedge pillow.
Day 8Early Recovery

The Pups Are Back in Town

Today is special: my pups came home from summer camp! Okay, fine, they returned from their stay at the boarder, where they've been since the day before my…

Pain 3/10 NWB early-recovery · dogs · motivation
A black-and-white photo from a 1984 fitness book: a young John Travolta in a black sleeveless unitard and white headband sits on the floor with his legs extended straight in front of him, arms reaching forward over his legs mid-stretch.
Day 9Early Recovery

Physical

Today's entry is about stretching, and how it has officially become a non-negotiable around here. Since this is my 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... 6... 7... EIGHTH foot and…

Pain 2/10 NWB early-recovery · stretching · exercise
A meme of Freddie Mercury mid-performance in a white tank top and studded belt, singing into a microphone, overlaid with a tweet by Alison Burke (@TiredActor) reading: *at a job interview* 'Can you perform under pressure?' Me: 'I'm not sure I know all the lyrics but here goes nothing.'
Day 10Early Recovery

Under Pressure

This morning I woke up oddly curious about what will actually happen with this hammertoe. I mean, I know what will HAPPEN happen: it should be fixed and no…

Pain 2/10 NWB early-recovery · hammertoe · anatomy
A meme of a chunky orange-and-white cat leaning back against a couch like a person, round belly on display, with black caption bars reading: 'Me after eating: Mmm I need something sweet. *Eats 4 cookies & half a cake* Now I need something salty.'
Day 12Early Recovery

Milkshake

Today's deep thoughts are on the big D. Not that one. Diet. Or "recovery diet," which is the more honest framing. Here's the thing. When I'm logging 70–80…

Pain 2/10 NWB early-recovery · nutrition · diet
Gloved hands working a pair of surgical scissors through layers of tan elastic bandage and fluffy white cotton padding wrapped around my right foot and ankle, one toe just peeking out of the top, with my left foot in a white-and-orange HOKA off to the side.
Day 13Early Recovery

I Can See Clearly Now

Today was a BIG DAY! It was the "unveiling of the foot!" Aka, the day all the surgical dressing came off and I finally got to lay eyes on the masterpiece that…

Pain 1/10 NWB early-recovery · milestone · unveiling
Office Space meme: Bill Lumbergh with his coffee mug saying, 'Yeah, if you could go ahead and not be in pain... that would be great.'
Day 14Early Recovery

Hurts So Good

Ohhh the pain train pulled into the station overnight, woke me up damn early (2:45 anyone?!) and I'm running on fumes today. The reason? This heavy metal…

Pain 5/10 NWB early-recovery · boot · pain
A surreal, photoshopped gag: a pair of bare feet on a dark mat, where the ankles and shins are laced and cuffed in worn tan leather exactly like a pair of lace-up work boots, so you can't tell where foot ends and boot begins.
Day 15Early Recovery

These Boots Are Made for Walkin'

So one of the fun things about Amazon is that you can find annnnnnnnny old thing on it, and I decided to go find myself a new boot. One that presumably fit…

Pain 2/10 NWB early-recovery · boot · peptides
Meme of The Thing from Fantastic Four staring warily into the distance, captioned 'Your heel watching you buy more face skin care products.'
Day 16Early Recovery

Itchycoo Park

One of the advantages of having a new comfy boot is that it makes my leg generally feel so much better. I even made it through the night, sleeping fairly…

Pain 2/10 NWB early-recovery · itching · hydroxyzine
Bare feet resting still, a limb waiting to move again.
Day 17Early Recovery

Fists With My Toes

My foot hurts. I know, I KNOW, why is this news? It should hurt because it's been through so much but no, it's not that kind of pain. It's the kind that comes…

Pain 4/10 NWB early-recovery · immobility · foot-pain
A Maury Povich meme. Top text: 'You said you would take a break from Amazon.' Bottom text: 'The boxes on the porch determined that was a lie.'
Day 18Early Recovery

Material Girl

We went out today for breakfast and groceries, my second time doing this since my surgery almost three weeks ago. One thing that tends to happen when I do the…

Pain 3/10 NWB early-recovery · mobility-aids · crutches
A meme of Tiger Woods and John Daly chatting at a golf tournament. Tiger, trim in a black vest, is labeled 'Marathon runners.' Daly, in a blue polo and floral pants with a cigarette, is labeled 'Ultra runners.'
Day 19Early Recovery

Born to Run

Right before my surgery, I was scrolling Instagram, as one does to pass the hours when sidelined with injury. By that point my feed was full of foot and ankle…

Pain 2/10 NWB early-recovery · genetics · training
A meme in bold white text on a black background: 'I asked the ER doctor if I could do my own stitches. She said, Suture self.'
Day 20Boot / Transition

Footloose

THE STITCHES CAME OUT!!! Hooooooooraaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy... one more step (har-har) towards recovery. We are 3 weeks in, and today Dr. Stein popped his head in…

Pain 2/10 NWB boot-transition · milestone · stitches
A retro-style illustration of Jesus with a halo on a black background, above the quote: 'Remember, God doesn't love people with small biceps.' Attributed, naturally, to Jesus.
Day 21Boot / Transition

Personal Jesus

Today was an awesome day. And not just because it's exactly 3 weeks post-op. And not just because my foot got its first bath. And not just because it's…

Pain 2/10 NWB boot-transition · milestone · strength-training
The Mugatu 'so hot right now' meme from Zoolander, captioned 'THAT DEATH VALLEY... ...SO HOT RIGHT NOW.'
Day 22Boot / Transition

Walking on the Sun

I've been putting this off for days. But it's time to name the elephant in the room, the one thing in my running life I've never been able to quit. Badwater.…

Pain 2/10 NWB boot-transition · badwater · ultrarunning
Meme of an open package of Nabisco Oreos with the cookies lined up in a neat row, captioned 'I JUST DID A LINE.'
Day 23Boot / Transition

Lean on Me

Let's talk about how much surgery recovery leans on a positive mindset. Look, I'm not going to get all goofy here or start spouting Brené Brown-isms, but this…

NWB boot-transition · mindset · friendship
A meme of a happy little white chihuahua swimming through bright blue water with its eyes closed and a blissful grin. Floating labels name skincare and supplement ingredients around it: 'Hyaluronic acid,' 'Retinol,' 'Glycolic acid,' 'Vitamin C,' 'Vitamin E,' and 'Amino acids,' with 'Peptides' near the tail and the dog itself labeled 'Me.'
Day 24Boot / Transition

A Change Is Gonna Come

OK, peptide convo time (so muff your eyes and ears if this is not your jam) OMGGGGG the FDA's Pharmacy Compounding Advisory Committee did something amazing…

NWB boot-transition · peptides · fda
A Ron Burgundy meme: Will Ferrell in character as the mustached anchorman in a blue suit, looking earnestly at the camera, with bold caption text reading 'THAT'S A HODGEPODGE.'
Day 26Boot / Transition

Here Comes the Sun

I skipped yesterday's entry but I did not skip all the required stuff like stretching and eating healthy and soaking up the sun. I realized I was feeling a…

Pain 2/10 NWB boot-transition · mental-health · vitamin-d
A meme captioned 'my body after doing absolutely nothing all day,' showing two blue x-ray-style illustrations of a human figure with glowing red pain points at the neck, knees, and ankle.
Day 27Boot / Transition

Scar Tissue

Facebook did the thing today where it reminds you who you were nine years ago. And nine years ago today, I was parked in a chair a lot like the one I'm in now,…

NWB boot-transition · scars · comparison
The 'Conspiracy Keanu' meme: a wide-eyed young man with tousled hair looking bewildered, captioned 'THE UPDATE IS' across the top and 'THAT THERE IS NO UPDATE' across the bottom.
Day 28Boot / Transition

The Waiting

Some days the headline writes itself. Today's headline is: nothing to report. The update is that there is no update. Exactly four weeks ago I came home from…

NWB boot-transition · weight-bearing · physical-therapy
A flat-style illustration of a woman with dark hair in a bun and a magenta top, reaching up to arrange a horizontal roadmap on a wall: five colorful chevron arrows, each stamped with a clock, connected by dashed lines to note cards above and below.
Day 29Boot / Transition

Time Is on My Side

I am, at my core, a person who needs a finish line. Hand me a goal and a timeline that ends somewhere I can actually point at, and I will happily grind toward…

NWB boot-transition · weight-bearing · timeline
An animated Looney Tunes clip of Bugs Bunny sobbing dramatically, fat cartoon tears streaming from both eyes.
Day 30Boot / Transition

The Distance

Let me be straight with you: today the foot genuinely hurts. There's a deep, insistent throb in the heel bone this morning, well past the dull background ache…

Pain 5/10 NWB boot-transition · mindset · pain
Alexis from Schitt's Creek in a denim jacket, smiling and shrugging, with the caption 'Just being me' and a smiley emoji.
Day 32Boot / Transition

The Future's So Bright

Confession: I forgot to post yesterday. Not because anything went wrong. Because everything went... fine. I stretched. I slept great. I hit the weights, ate…

Pain 2/10 NWB boot-transition · mindset · goals
A Kermit the Frog puppet lying tucked in white bedsheets with wide, exhausted eyes, captioned 'When you want to sleep because of the fatigue but you can't sleep because of the nerve pain. #MSlife'.
Day 34Boot / Transition

Shock the Monkey

Hooo boy. That foot nerve pain is back, baby. BACK. It showed up around 10pm last night and yanked me right out of a dead sleep. For whatever reason my foot…

Pain 4/10 NWB boot-transition · nerve-pain · swelling
A retro comic-style illustration of Plato, the Greek philosopher, in a teal tunic and orange sash, captioned in bold cream lettering: '“Nice argument, but how much can you bench?” - Plato'.
Day 35Boot / Transition

Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger

Going on week 3 of heavy lifting, week 4 of stretching and mobility. And god, what a difference it all makes. The catch is that it matters what and how I'm…

Pain 2/10 NWB boot-transition · strength-training · mobility
A someecards-style meme in dusty pink with two suited men, one adjusting the other's collar, captioned: 'Time flies when you're having fun... or something like that.'
Day 40Boot / Transition

Fly Like an Eagle

OH MY GAWD, I just realized it's been days since I posted. And honestly? I think that's a good thing. I've been off doing this wild new activity called life -…

Pain 2/10 NWB boot-transition · weight-bearing · six-week-check
A pun meme on a black background showing the sole of a bare foot, captioned above and below: 'Don't bother asking a podiatrist for metric conversions. He only knows feet.' with a PainfulPuns logo in the corner.
Day 42Boot / Transition

Don't Stop

Today is a time machine. It points backward and forward at the same time, and I'm standing right in the hinge of it: six weeks post-op, to the day. First, the…

Pain 3/10 NWB six-week-check · throwback · hardware
A book-cover-style cartoon of a sunny cartoon farm - red barn, green hills, pigs, cows, roosters, a small US flag, and a farmer throwing his hands up in the middle of the path - under big drop-shadowed text reading 'Everything I Want to Do Is Illegal.'
Day 43Boot / Transition

Illegal

Okay, back into one of those grey areas (oooo, see what I did there). That's right: we're talking peptides again. And this one feels important to share. I've…

Pain 3/10 NWB peptides · diabetes · mody
A reaction meme: a man in a shirt and loosened tie in a kitchen, hands raised and mouth open in pure delight, under bold white all-caps text reading 'OMG I'M SO EXCITED!!'
Day 44Boot / Transition

I'm So Excited

The day has arrived!! And it's AWESOME! Now I know I promised a video of the [ahem] "pin extraction," but I want to save that since it's long, and I need to…

Pain 2/10 PWB pin-removal · weight-bearing · pwb