Fists With My Toes

My foot hurts. I know, I KNOW, why is this news? It should hurt because it’s been through so much but no, it’s not that kind of pain. It’s the kind that comes from not being moved for 16 days now. If you’ve ever had something in a hard cast (I have not, so I have to imagine) it’s like that. There is a tremendous discomfort that’s almost panic-inducing when the foot hasn’t moved in weeks and there are still weeks to go before it WILL get to move. It’s a stiffness pain, an “I NEED to stretch RIGHT NOW” that sort of takes over and I absolutely hate it. Look, I have zero flexibility in this body (or had… I’m fixing that now) but not being able to move something is vastly different than choosing not to move something. This is what the ortho doesn’t tell you - that not moving the appendage at all for weeks—creating a chronic weakness overall—will likely hurt worse than the initial acute pain of surgery.

And it doesn’t go away.

It’s just there, aching deeply, in a limb loaded with tendons and ligaments and muscles that really just wants to move. A flex, a point… a stand on it and do a big calf stretch. Oh how I miss that feeling that comes from taking shoes off because in reality it feels as if I’ve been wearing a hard shoe for weeks. And I pretty much have been.

So tonight as you read this, stretch your feet. Lace your fingers in between your toes and just pull them upwards. Rub those soles and scrunch those digits. Or as John McClane learned… make fists with your toes.